Like any “responsible parent,” I do more than my fair share of measuring up my little one’s growth and development. As we approach the twelve month mark, I think it goes a tad into overdrive with the epic milestone of walking. Holden has been crawling for quite some time. He progressed from army crawling to rapid fire all fours. I remember saying at Christmas “Oh, he’ll for sure be walking all around by January/February. Well, we are definitely in the final days of February. He’s crawling as fast as lightning still, cruising while holding onto the furniture, and pushing himself up with his arms (just not to standing). No walking yet…
And I can’t help but compare. Compare to what my expectations were. Compare to what websites say, books quote, bloggers write about their little precious dears walking at nine months and such. I know I shouldn’t, but yet I do. When, oh when, will he walk!?!?! Why is this causing such upheaval?!?!? After a few shed tears and hand wringing, the man of the house thankfully took over and “looked it up” to develop a “game plan.” What Jake concluded is…Holden appears to be a typically developing baby. He’s not sprinting from room to room, but he’s doing all the things that babes should do to prepare for some serious movement in the months to come. And I need to face facts.
- Fact One: I’m hyper.
- Fact Two: I’m anxious.
- Fact Three: I’m quick to overanalyze and judge our sweet boy.
- Fact Four: I’m too busy measuring his performance instead of savoring each moment.
- Fact Five: I feel guilty about being a working mom and project those feelings on Holden (Am I doing enough? Reading enough? Playing enough? Giving him enough?).
- Fact Six: I find it very hard to live in the moment and not worry over tomorrow.
With knowledge come acceptance and change? We’ll see. I like to think me knowing these things about myself at least helps me make better choices in the future. Tomorrow, I’m not going to worry about Holden (except for how his current antibiotic is taking care of this ear infection!!!). I’m going to trust and enjoy.