Septemageddon

Let me tell you why I feel September is Armageddon Month!  Back to school has been just crazy.  New students (like lots of new students), schedule changes, new teachers/staff to work with, missing records, and oh the meetings!  I have truly been so busy at work that it borders on maniac.  Racing to put out one fire that pops up and then the other.  I absolutely hate this feeling, but I really can’t stand when it spills over onto my family.  All that stress, rushing, frustration just packs up with me and goes right home.  I long for the days of November.  Sweet November!  Routines will be established.  We’ll all know our kids and what they can/can’t do so much better.  I hesitate to say it, but I’ll even take October days over Septemageddon!  The one thing that moving along into the school year can’t fix is how I miss my Holden.  I said, “Goodbye!” to him when he was 6 months old the first time I went back to work, and I felt mostly okay.  I think I may have cried, because I felt like I should.  Last year, I was a bit more authentically upset.  This year, Good Grief!  I mean, I’ve been back for exactly two full work weeks now, and I still can be an unpredictable mess on the drive to work.  What is going on!?!?!  My theory is that as he has grown and is able to communicate more.  I’ve fallen more in love.  I think he feels the same way about me as I now get the “I missed you, Mommy.” when I pick him up.  I know it will fade as the year goes on.  At least, I think it will in theory.  I know the guilt won’t fade of leaving him.  I’m quite sure of that since mom guilty has followed me around since March 8, 2012.  We are blessed with a wonderful home daycare and now {what seems to be} a great preschool.  So wonderful in fact that when I mention it to others, they get a dreamy look in their eyes and say “Oh, yes…we loved it there!”  He’s {mostly} happy as a clam, I’m sure.  I think it is mostly me who is poorly adjusted to life right now.  Since running away to join the circus probably wouldn’t be a good fix, I’m going to keep on showing up at work (go me!), try to rush home to H as soon as I can, be nice to teachers and students {if nothing else, at least be nice!}, and keep my eyes on the calendar looking for November.

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Labor Day Weekend Beach Trip to Assateague Island

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Doesn’t it look like he’s saying “What’s up, Ma?”

2 thoughts on “Septemageddon

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