Hi there! I confess it’s WAY too late for me to be up on a school night. My mind is absolutely spinning with some situations that really strike at the heart of me. For me, it seems to be helpful to rehash everything 25,678 times when I’m upset about something. So…you, my dear reader, are subjected to rehash 25,677 (<-I’m hoping to be able to give it a rest tomorrow!).
This is my tenth year teaching. I’ve been at the same school for all those years. I started with a provisional license that became my professional license in 2009. I’m licensed in Specific Learning Disabilities, K-12. I’ve taught self-contained K-2 as well as a mixed class of K-1 self-contained/resource students. Basically, this means that some students need more help/more service time than others in that same group. I’ve taught inclusion in grades 3 and 4. This year I’m teaching in 4th and Kindergarten. It is nice to be able to work with the little kinders again. However, I confess it makes me want my own classroom again (like I had when I was self-contained). I confess that I enjoy the younger kids more. I think this would probably surprise some people that know me, but it’s true!
The point of this post is to say…I think I’m reaching my max of special education. I know there are some teachers who go all 30 years plus in special ed, but I don’t think that’s me. The special education paperwork, the general education paperwork (yes, I have to do both or help the general education teacher with hers), the model of inclusion (great for kids! hard on this teacher), constant grade level changes, constant change of cooperating teachers, and just general attitudes really are wearing me down.
I don’t know what the next move is. The Mr. and I spent a good hour tonight discussing my job and future possibilities. No clear path revealed itself. Short-term or long-term solutions did not appear. A few truths though are…
- I do like kids, and I don’t mind teaching them! 😉
- I’m reasonably good at it.
- I may be on the verge of “going off the deep end” soon if the little car temper tantrum is any indication. Yes, I had a temper tantrum that resulted in flying objects all because I couldn’t find my car charger this morning. Projecting my issues much!?!?!?
- I’m not too ambitious. This lack of ambition is directly related to the fact that I very much want to be home with Helen (and Holden although he is in preschool and loving it now).
- I like to be in charge (#firstbornissues) and feel like I have some control in my job. That, my friend, is lacking in my current situation. I feel like things are changing all the time, and inclusion necessitates me being like a traveling teacher piecing together my day flying between classrooms that are not mine – Don’t get me wrong…my co-teachers are great and gracious! However, I have no space that is clearly mine. So it goes!
There you have it! My angsty, slightly whiney post!
What’s a teacher to do?!?! Career switch suggestions??