Quitting and Contentment

Hi there!  Goodness, it has been a long time since I wrote anything on this little old blog (August 2017 to be exact!).  To say that I’ve been “up in the air” about many things is putting it mildly!  I’ve been asking myself do I switch to a new church (or not), switch career fields (or not), do I complete coursework to switch jobs within the field of education (or not), do I run a marathon (or not), etc., etc.

I hate to feel like I’m just bumping along without an goal.  I love to take action when I’ve identified a problem.  I also confess to wanting lots of human opinions either from loved ones or the infamous Google search.  These tendencies present a problem when I put ultimatums on myself and timelines and expectations.  Then, the fixing of one “problem” results in lots of internal problems for me.

I guess you could say that my motto for 2018 is just quit. We are only 18 days in, and I’ve already doing a pretty good job.

  1.  Registered for Yuengling Shamrock Marathon – I switched over to the 8K.
  2. Registered, Paid, and Began classes at Old Dominion and Tidewater Community College – I dropped those classes after the first week.  Sadly, this was after I put about 7 hours work into them.
  3. Tentatively planned two vacations – I abandoned both ideas as one was too far of a car ride for our car-challenged children and the other was not the Mr.’s idea of a vacation.  I do see his point as it was a trip to the beach, and we LIVE in Virginia Beach.  😉
  4. Heck, I was already ahead of myself and gave up on this blog back in August!

I think quitting can have such negativity associated with it.  However, I know as a teacher I go over with students when to abandon a book.  How often do we as adults take inventory of our lives (friends, family, profession, spirituality, hobbies) and decide what really needs to be abandoned?  Is there a friend who really isn’t a friend and has become a drain on your emotions?  Is there a family member who requires a little more distance from your everyday thoughts and your heat?  Perhaps, you need to change your job in some way or maybe an attitude/way you do thing adjustment is necessary.  Are you stagnant spiritually?  When’s the last time you truly felt your soul was evolving even in some small way?  Hobbies?  Do you have none or quite too many?  Are you really doing something that is special to you?

It’s no secret that I love to purge/organize/drop-off at the thrift store.  I love the feeling that you have after really clearing out some space in a home.  It feels like I can breathe easier and see with so much more clarity what remains.  I think it’s easier to identify where “clutter” is when it’s tangible and has a sort-of “in your face”-ness to it.

I believe that 2018 for me will be a year of changes but also (*hopefully*) a year of contentment.  I’m quite tired of striving.  There’s that saying – “There’s always room for improvement.”  I do love a good self-help book and the sense of accomplishment from meeting a goal.  I’ve done a lot of that.  I think really for me to grow as a person it might…just maybe…be more important for me to let contentment grow this year.

Can I just be content with my personality?  my skills?  my weaknesses?  my accomplishments?  my failures?  I feels like the quest for the Holy Grail!  I guess I’ll have to find my best Indiana Jones’ hat and try!

Do you set resolutions or goals only in January?  or maybe not at all?

Have a great day and year!  🙂

Blogging as it relates to life

I have a confession to make.  My name is Natalie, and I behave in a negligent manner towards a loved one.  I’m thoughtless and am unkind without remorse.  I demand that this person meet unattainable goals.  I wrongfully believe that this person can meet all the needs without requiring anything.  I tend to put this person down and tell her that she couldn’t possibly be successful at this, that or the other…

I am being mean to me.

Isn’t that just sad?!  Actually, it just makes me mad!  See the issue?  Who am I mad at?  Self-love is not my default…and I would even say self-like may be pushing the envelope.  How does this relate to blogging, this blog…you may ask?  Well, I just spent about thirty minutes rereading old blog posts and enjoying seeing what I’ve been up to since I started up this little project back in August 2012.  I love watching Holden (and us as parents) grow up over time.  I have felt a little sad that I discontinued it over the past few months.  I’ve also felt extremely overwhelmed and like I have no time for anything besides the basics.  Now, this feeling is partially just my personality, but I think I could make a pretty good list of why this feeling is valid (new baby, full-time work, busy family life, daycare craziness, average ups-and-downs of life, etc.).  I’ve pushed aside this outlet to make time and focus on other things.  Important things like feeding humans I love, talking to my extended family on the phone, paying attention to my curious and talkative 5 year old, carrying around a sweet baby who is very partial to her mama, and just general life stuff like tidying up tons of blocks and clean clothes that are piled on the sofa.

The thing is…I’m not sure what to do about it.  I keep telling myself that this is just a season of life!  I’ll have more time for me (hobbies, interests, friends, etc.)when <insert milestone life event here>.  Will I really though?  Will I have a good, long life to explore all the possibilities?  Am I being selfish?  unreasonable?

Things I do know:

  1. I love my children.
  2. I desperately want to follow God’s plan for my life {even though I must be too dense to get the picture sometimes!}.
  3. I am not bionic despite my sister’s ideas.

To conclude this rambling blog post, I’m unsure if I will continue to write in this Internet space.  And I guess it should be enough reason for me to keep doing it if I ENJOY IT (not considering how many “likes” or “hits” it gets.  HOWEVER, I just can’t bear to completely shut it down.  So Happy Friday!  Good grief, that was some heavy thinking!


To Blog or Not to Blog…

Hi there!  Boy, I’ve been doing heavy thinking for almost a week now about blogging, social media, basically our technology world!  I had decided to quit blogging and not renew my site.  Yes, I actually pay to have this site.  Once a year.  I always think of other ways I’d like to spend the money too!  I really thought I wanted to use my time in a different way.  Truthfully, sometimes I feel burdened by blogging.  Like, I really should give an update especially for the family who reads it to keep up with H.  I feel guilty taking the time to do it instead of taking on the other tasks and projects that could be done at home.  So this is where I was…until last night.

I talked with my art therapist aka my best good friend who counseled me free of charge about creativity and the desire to be more “arty” for lack of a better word.  She recommended a book called The Artist’s Way. She had lots of other good tips/advice too.  Plus, I just like talking to her.  🙂  I sat down last night to read the introduction and the first chapter.  Although I’m unsure I’ll delve into the full load of work that is laid out in the book to discover your inner child’s creativity (warning!  It is a little “out there.”  The Mr. was like…what are you talking about!?!), I did already find the book beneficial.  I thought about what I enjoy, what I feel good at, how I express my creativity- – -my inner child.  😉

Duh!  One aspect of that is blogging!  I told the Mr. last night that I thought I had no hobbies.  He gave a snort and said oh yes I do!  So here goes…the hobby-less girl’s hobby list to prove to myself that I am creative and I don’t need to go buy a set of oil paint to prove it!  (P.S.  Not that you should worry about proving it to anyone anyways!):

  • cooking – I rarely follow a recipe in totality but prefer to make it up or add in.  Usually tasty, never reproduced!
  • blogging – Picture taking and writing – I actually enjoy composing the post.  Thinking about how to express yourself has got to stave off Alzheimer’s right????
  • outings/trips/plans – I like to do new things with H and pretty much with anyone!  I guess you could say I “creatively” plan!
  • hair – I hate wearing my hair the same way all the time.  I could never have a “signature” hairstyle!  Curly, straight, bangs, no bangs, braid, twist, high bun, low bun, ponytail…etc.
  • work-outs – This is new, but I’m getting very creative in varying my work-outs, trying new ones.  Guess what?  I’m actually on a one week yoga streak!  Yes, I have done it!  Created a yoga habit!  Love Yoga with Adriene on YouTube for home yoga!  Plus, I went to my first fitness class ever on Monday night that was a yoga class – 1 hour later, I only feel over a few times!  I’m planning on trying a few more with my flexible summer schedule.

So there!  I am creative.  I am an artist.  Maybe not to the letter of the official definition, but in some aspects, I sure am!

1. One, such as a painter, sculptor, or writer, who is able by virtue of imagination and talent or skill to create works of aesthetic value, especially in the fine arts.

2. person whose work shows exceptional creative ability or skill: You are an artist in the kitchen.
3. One, such as an actor or singer, who works in the performing arts.