Quitting and Contentment

Hi there!  Goodness, it has been a long time since I wrote anything on this little old blog (August 2017 to be exact!).  To say that I’ve been “up in the air” about many things is putting it mildly!  I’ve been asking myself do I switch to a new church (or not), switch career fields (or not), do I complete coursework to switch jobs within the field of education (or not), do I run a marathon (or not), etc., etc.

I hate to feel like I’m just bumping along without an goal.  I love to take action when I’ve identified a problem.  I also confess to wanting lots of human opinions either from loved ones or the infamous Google search.  These tendencies present a problem when I put ultimatums on myself and timelines and expectations.  Then, the fixing of one “problem” results in lots of internal problems for me.

I guess you could say that my motto for 2018 is just quit. We are only 18 days in, and I’ve already doing a pretty good job.

  1.  Registered for Yuengling Shamrock Marathon – I switched over to the 8K.
  2. Registered, Paid, and Began classes at Old Dominion and Tidewater Community College – I dropped those classes after the first week.  Sadly, this was after I put about 7 hours work into them.
  3. Tentatively planned two vacations – I abandoned both ideas as one was too far of a car ride for our car-challenged children and the other was not the Mr.’s idea of a vacation.  I do see his point as it was a trip to the beach, and we LIVE in Virginia Beach.  😉
  4. Heck, I was already ahead of myself and gave up on this blog back in August!

I think quitting can have such negativity associated with it.  However, I know as a teacher I go over with students when to abandon a book.  How often do we as adults take inventory of our lives (friends, family, profession, spirituality, hobbies) and decide what really needs to be abandoned?  Is there a friend who really isn’t a friend and has become a drain on your emotions?  Is there a family member who requires a little more distance from your everyday thoughts and your heat?  Perhaps, you need to change your job in some way or maybe an attitude/way you do thing adjustment is necessary.  Are you stagnant spiritually?  When’s the last time you truly felt your soul was evolving even in some small way?  Hobbies?  Do you have none or quite too many?  Are you really doing something that is special to you?

It’s no secret that I love to purge/organize/drop-off at the thrift store.  I love the feeling that you have after really clearing out some space in a home.  It feels like I can breathe easier and see with so much more clarity what remains.  I think it’s easier to identify where “clutter” is when it’s tangible and has a sort-of “in your face”-ness to it.

I believe that 2018 for me will be a year of changes but also (*hopefully*) a year of contentment.  I’m quite tired of striving.  There’s that saying – “There’s always room for improvement.”  I do love a good self-help book and the sense of accomplishment from meeting a goal.  I’ve done a lot of that.  I think really for me to grow as a person it might…just maybe…be more important for me to let contentment grow this year.

Can I just be content with my personality?  my skills?  my weaknesses?  my accomplishments?  my failures?  I feels like the quest for the Holy Grail!  I guess I’ll have to find my best Indiana Jones’ hat and try!

Do you set resolutions or goals only in January?  or maybe not at all?

Have a great day and year!  🙂

Fit In to Me

You know…a lot of times I feel like I don’t “fit in” whatever that means.  If I had to pinpoint this feeling, I would say it started in third grade when all those sacked out primary kids from another school came up to my school aka the K-5 elementary school.  I felt like I didn’t “fit in” with my old friends who were enjoying meeting all the new peeps.  Then, we move on to middle school and that was just ick.  Unfortunately, I’m not one of those fabulously cool people who don’t give a rip if they FIT IN.  Oh to be one of those!  I actually do/did care more than a little but not enough to really get in a state of teen angst over it.

As I’ve gotten older, okay, let’s not lie…this probably took until about adulthood.  You know, the adulthood where you pay your own bills and move in with boyfriend, that kind.  I really *started* to be okay with me.

Here’s ten truths…

1.  I dread social situations.  Therein may lie my fitting in problem, huh?  Recently, I was talking with a neighbor and sweating buckets.  Now, it was 90ish degrees outside, but I was standing there.  We were talking.  She was nice.  There was no need to freak out.  She wasn’t asking questions that I was incapable of answering.  It was more like, “Now, where do you work?  Are you finished with all the house painting?”  Easy yes or no’s like that.

2.  I eat weird stuff all the time and love it.  Like tonight for instance – I had canned salmon with capers, olives, rosemary, mayo, yogurt, and a hot sauce type thing on 1/2 a hot dog roll (toasted). Bi-zarre.

3.  I hate doing my hair.  I wish that a shaved head could work for me.  I have this fear that I am too tall for a short do.  Natalie Portman did rock it in V for Vendetta.  Same name, same hair?

4.  I hate having bad food out.  I will pitch a fit about going to a yuck restaurant including any fast food with only slight exceptions for Chik-fil-a and Subway.  Now, weird slightly not good food at home is A OK.

5.  I love a list, a schedule, a planner…and I keep multiple calendars going.

6.  I imagine a target on the back of any person in front of me while running, sinister!

7.  I didn’t like kids prior to becoming a teacher – sort of a cart-before-the-horse thing.

8.  I eat some type of “dessert” after both lunch and dinner (sweet cereal counts!  but so does chocolate!)

9.  I hate cocktail receptions.  I mean, where is the food?  Why isn’t there a meal?  Can we sit?  No, there is no sitting.  I mean, what the????

10.  I could take or leave flowers.  Isn’t that weird?  They’re nice and everything, but I don’t want to garden.  Truthfully, I don’t even really think about putting them in the house when they’re sprouting up outside.

People, including me, are all weird in their own way.  I think the trick is to just get over your own weirdness and stop being so self-conscious about it.  That’s my goal anyway.